Introduction

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The Importance and Meaning of Friendships

Your friends are probably one of the most important things in your life. You’re there for each other, you have fun together, and occasionally you get in trouble together. What would you do without your friends? Life would be boring! You are at a point in your life where friendships are more important than ever.

You’re growing up, getting to know who you are and what you like and don’t like. There are things on your mind and things going on in your life that you need to talk about but that discussing with your parents is just not cool. Your friends are the ones in which you confide. And they confide in you as well. Now, more than ever, you lean on your friends.

Imagine going it alone through all the trials and tribulations of dating, college scouting, job hunting, disagreements with your parents and siblings, and what to wear to so and so’s party. In fact, if you didn’t have friends, you likely wouldn’t even be going to so and so’s party in the first place.

Well let’s imagine for a minute that you have a disability. If you suddenly acquired a disability do you think your closest friends would stop being your friends? Probably not. They love you and would likely stick by you. Now think about being born with a disability. How does this change things? Do you think those same friends would still be your friends? Maybe they would. But often, people shy away from befriending someone who has a disability. And making friends would have been even more difficult if you were being educated in a classroom that was separate from the rest of the kids in your school.

That’s already two strikes against you in the friend making department, just because you have a disability! How would this make you feel? Probably a little sad, but most of all lonely. You know how important your friends are to you and how much you value those friendships.

Well, having meaningful friendships is equally important for people with disabilities. Just because a person has a disability does not mean that they don’t go through the same experiences, emotions, and adjustments that you do in life. And having a disability in no way diminishes the need to have strong, meaningful friendships to depend upon through life’s joys and sorrows.

Take a minute to think about your own life and don’t be afraid to be honest with yourself. Have you, either consciously or unconsciously, avoided being friends with a person who had a disability because you didn’t think you would have anything in common? Or that you couldn’t do the same things and have as much fun with that person as you could with your other friends? It is okay if you answered yes, as societal attitudes have likely taught you that people with disabilities are “different” and therefore you automatically gravitated towards people without disabilities, who were more like yourself, for friendships.

But by being a peer tutor you are learning that this is a myth! People with disabilities might have different learning styles, and different needs, but they are regular people just like you! And all people, regardless of their learning styles and other needs, need friends.

As you go through your peer tutoring class, start to notice the similarities between yourself and the students you are tutoring, instead of the differences. Instead of viewing yourself as someone who is there solely to help another student, view the students you are tutoring as peers with whom you may find you have a lot in common and possibly develop a close friendship. You certainly don’t have to like everybody and be everybody’s friend! But try to open your mind and really get to know the students with whom you are working and at least see the opportunity for new friendships within those relationships. By assuming that your peers with disabilities are so different from you that you will not have anything in common, you create the very barriers we should all be working to break down.

Introduction

Spirituality

Friendships

Strategies